Depression is nasty to deal with and when you have another individual in your life it can be harder to express to your spouse or partner that you are experiencing depression. I know this all too well and over the 9 years I have been with my now husband we have had our challenges in communication and me not allowing myself to be honest with how I was feeling. This is exactly why I wanted to share this post with you today. To save you that time and give you ways to express your feelings and get the conversation started sooner than waiting until it is a problem down the road.
1. Just Say It
This is probably one of the hardest ones. It might seem easy in your mind but when the time comes for the words to come out your heart starts pounding and you question if this is the right choice. Well, I am here to say it is. Consider it ripping off the band-aid method. Just get it off your chest and feel the huge sigh of relief you will feel. Now this will not be an easy conversation but know you are not alone in this. An estimated 17.3 million adults in the United States had at least one major depressive episode. This number represented 7.1% of all U.S. adults. According to the National Institute of Mental Health. How you tell your spouse will be different from person to person. It might feel right to say it when you are cooking dinner one night or maybe you clear your night and sit down with your spouse or partner and express everything to them. No matter the way you tell them it is a step in a new path and journey together.
2. Write it Down
Sometimes writing is easier and writing it out can be a huge help. Just getting your feelings down on paper is therapeutic to a lot of people. You can write down everything or only want you want to discuss at that moment. There is no right or wrong amount of information to disclose. Once you have it written down you have two options. Option one is to use that note as a guide to rehearse what you would like to tell your spouse or partner and still physically tell them about your depression. Option two is to use that note and give it to your spouse or partner. You can give it to them while you are around or maybe your still not comfortable with that and you want to give them the note on their way out the door one day. Again, there is no wrong way here just know that you will probably be discussing this when you get home.
3. Find A Illustration or Graphic That Describes How You’re Feeling
Visuals are a huge help when it comes to sharing information with other people. Sharing your depression with your spouse or partner can be no different. There is a ton of other different illustrations out there from other people sharing what their depression looks like and you could choose from. The biggest thing to remember is find an illustration that you is true and represents your representation of your depression. This will open to door for an open conversation for the both of you.
4. Tell Them With The Help Of Your Therapist
This does apply if you are actively seeking treatment. Sometimes it is easier to tell someone something so personal if there is someone else there who knows the situation. Your therapist is there as your emotional support and can also answer any questions that you feel you are unable to answer that your spouse asks. Bringing someone to a session is a big decision so be sure to check and see that you are emotionally ready for this step and that will benefit both you and your spouse.
5. Explain How They Can Support You
Once you say those words “I’m Depressed” your spouse or partner will have questions. If you are one of the few who has a spouse who experience depression and know exactly what you mean you are extremely lucky. If you are like me and have a spouse who cannot comprehend how you can feel all the ways you do during one day than you will have to share how they can help you. It can be anything from asking your spouse to just let you be for the day when you are having a rough day, asking them to call you at a certain time to ask if you took your meds, making time to sit down and have breakfast together or even asking them to help you find a doctor or therapist. Working on this together will strengthen your bond and give your spouse the chance to feel useful.
In today’s world we see through social media the idea of perfection. That is a facade and not the actual representation of their lives. Therefore, it is important to share your feelings with your spouse and if you feel you are experiencing the symptoms of depression you are not alone. Depression is common and treatable, but it will only get better if you ask for help. Telling that person, you are connected with the most might be the scariest thing but once you do you are opening the door to a whole new connection that will develop between you are your spouse. I know this because I experienced this with mine every day.
IF YOU ARE CONCERNED THAT YOU, OR SOMEONE YOU KNOW, MAY BE
CONSIDERING KILLING THEMSELVES, PLEASE CONNECT THEM WITH HELP.
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