Today is World Mental Health Day and this is a post I’ve been wanting to write for a while. I figured today was the perfect day for this post. So I wanted to share with all of you something I have kept personal for a long time and I am finally ready to share.

I was recently diagnosed as Bi-Polar.

You have no idea how scary that is to say but I said it. This diagnosis is something it took me a long time to come to terms with. I was diagnosed with depression in 3rd grade and I just always thought it was all because of that. As I got older I noticed some of my symptoms didn’t fit into the depression category. When I got that confirmation of everything I never wanted to hear I couldn’t believe it and I didn’t want to accept it. People who are Bi-Polar are crazy, mean, harm others, and so much more. I also felt because Bi-Polar people are so unstable if anyone knew they would take my kids away and say I’m an unfit mother because I am Bi-Polar. I wasn’t any of those things how could I be Bi-Polar?

Well, you see no two people with the same mental health issues have the same problems. We are all different and even our symptoms are different. I do have manic episodes but they affect my mood more than anything else. When I go into my episode I have ZERO energy and no wish to do anything. Being a mother of three that is not a good thing. So I make myself do stuff even if I don’t have the energy to because I won’t let my illness control my life.

When I was younger I was bullied from a young age and struggled to make friends. As I got older when I made a friend I was so desperate to keep those friends. I would get upset if they wanted to hang out with other people and it ended up causing me to lose that friendship in the end. I was my own worst enemy and hate who I was. I started to cut myself because I was so hurt and felt I had no other way to express myself. I cut myself for a few years before my parents found out and threatened to put me in a mental hospital I changed.

I learned how to manage my feeling and founds another way to cope. I would do anything with another person that I could because when I am with someone else I can escape my head. I don’t get trapped in my head and tear myself down. I am not perfect and I try to be as transparent as I can with everyone. When I am going through a manic episode I try to let people know I am not feeling it and I will in a week. Just because you have a mental health diagnosis doesn’t mean your crazy, unfit, or something else. It means you cared about yourself enough to get the help you needed before things got worse. You have faith in yourself to get better and conquer anything thrown your way.

I struggle daily with my bi-polar, depression, and anxiety and I am far from perfect. I am a work in progress and I will be my whole life. I except my flaws but I decided to turn them into my strengths. For example, my blog started as a place to keep my thoughts out there and I never expect it to turn into what it has. My blog has brought me into a community of local bloggers who support each other and are always there for each other. My blog even helped me accept how I look. I have been a bigger girl my whole life and until recently I was very uncomfortable having photos taken of me because I hated who I saw. Now I see a strong, confident woman looking back at me. I am not 100% in love with everything about how I look but I own who I am and I don’t let it stop me anymore. I have been a stay at home mom for 4 years now and recently my blog allowed me the opportunity to contribute back to my family financially which is something I never expected.

So if you have any type of mental health diagnosis know you’re not alone and there is help out there. All you need to do is be open and honest. If your honest with those who care about you they will help you. It is a two-way street and you need to remember to keep that communication open. When you communicate your feelings it helps everyone else know what they can do to help you feel better.

Know that your not alone and mental health awareness is now more important than ever.

xoxo,